Overcoming the fear of abandonment in your life can be one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. The fear of abandonment is a strong emotion that is triggered by our desire to be left alone. A relationship with someone we are attached to can cause feelings of abandonment that can linger in our lives.
Abandonment in a relationship can become a habit. If you are not careful, it can actually become an addiction. When you look at the situation, it can seem like all you have to lose is your relationship. Once the fear is gone, you are left with one thing…the prospect of abandonment.
It is very easy to develop a bad habit when we are faced with a fear and not much else. The need to be alone is a strong one and usually only the strong can resist it.
I remember being afraid of being left at a table as a child. That fear grew into a bad habit that has stayed with me all my life.
The problem is, even though my fear is so strong, it will not let me forget it. In fact, it becomes more powerful as the years go by and I become more accustomed to leaving my kids at the table.
One way to overcome the fear of abandonment is to go about eliminating the association. The key is to develop a routine that does not include leaving your children at the table. When leaving the table, do not look for comfort, but instead look for the children. This is an important part of how to conquer the fear of abandonment.
When faced with a fear, it is good to go about eliminating the associations that might be causing the fear. As soon as you get the initial feeling, you need to remind yourself that you are not leaving your children.
Once you have rid yourself of the association, you need to turn to a safe place for comfort. For me, this usually means the arms of my loving husband.
In order to overcome the fear of abandonment, you must have faith in yourself and your children. You cannot expect to have a secure base if you have no security at all. For this reason, the idea of having a base is too limiting for me.
Once you have conquered the fear of abandonment, you will need to ensure that you treat your children as you would want to be treated. After all, if you had a fear of abandonment, how would you want your children treated? Do you want them to be secure?
Encouraging the children to trust you and trust in themselves is a good way to help them overcome the fear of abandonment. This also allows you to stay close to them and helps you to be less isolated.
There is one thing you need to realize. No matter how strong the fear of abandonment is in your life, there is always a way to overcome it.